| Schizopolis Non-Sequiturs | ||||
| QB | Drew Bledsoe | |||
| RB | Warrick Dunn | |||
| Onterrio Smith | ||||
| WR | TJ Houshmandzadeh | |||
| Eddie Kennison | ||||
| Javon Walker | ||||
| K | Adam Vinatieri | |||
| D | Patriots D | |||
| ST | Bills ST | |||
| Leningrad Cowboys | ||||
| QB | Marc Bulger | |||
| RB | Jerome Bettis | |||
| Curtis Martin | ||||
| Sammy Morris | ||||
| WR | Joe Horn | |||
| Reggie Wayne | ||||
| K | Mike Vanderjagt | |||
| D | Chiefs D | |||
| ST | Bengals ST | |||